Scared of Clouds: Well Duh, ofc UR. yur a fucking hermit.

When you think of nerds in their dark rooms coding away on black console screens with no graphical interface, and then you hear those same nerds tell you they are afraid of ‘the clouds’… its hard to see much beyond ‘real world’ agoraphobia as the cause. It seems so obvious that these elitist nay-sayers would be against such a natural and worldly sounding word.

I bet its comical to watch some one code away for hours to automate a task when all you have to do is pull out your iphone 4S, talk to Siri and have it remind you to do that thing.. you know that really important thing that needs a few terraflops thrown at it for good measure..

<reminder> Buy…Shopping…
“ooh look at that it spoke to me just as I pulled in to tesco car park! *giggles*”

CRON FTW oh wait…  fuck i missed that important thing by 59 seconds.

Anyway back on track…  Lets summarize… the world is going to end in a few years time after some super cyber war between Apple’s & Amazon’s multi petaflop cloud Vs The Bot Farm rebellion… (with Microsoft servers unintentionally playing on both sides at the same time).   Meanwhile we will all be down the pub waiting for the engineers to sort out the fruit machine before we realise the fruit machine is just a front for the app store formally known as THE App store and Steve Jobs’ cyber ghost murders us all with high velocity pound coins.

I’m going to blaim the cloud for this… even if my computer is part of someone elses bot farm… why? because 10 petaflops is fucking insane and noone should wield that kind of power…

Seriously i think that kind of computing power is more powerful than an A-bomb… lets try to get our head around such a ridiculous ammount of mathematic calculations… correct me if im wrong but here is what i tapped in a calculator and here’s what came out…

We just hit 7 billion people…. ok.. so say each of those 7 billon people buys 10 things a day every day for the rest of their 80 year life…

7,000,000,000 x 80 x 365.25 x 10 ~= 2.0454×10¹⁵

10 petaflops = 10 x ×10¹⁵

total time to calculate ~= 0.2 seconds

OK so while I was writing this the 10 petaflop K computer in Japan just worked out every trading transaction that has ever existed in man’s existance…

But who cares! its fine because we are just using the damn thing to translate the sound of my FART into an onomatopoeia!!!