Code to write before you die…

This was one of those half baked ideas I had in the toilet that ended up keeping me up half the night thinking about.  I have to tell it to the internet because i have absolutely zero faith that i will do this before my proverbial coders hard on wanes and i end up forgetting about the whole idea. At least until i read that some other less procrastinating geek has done it and gets nice props for it.  Anyway here it is…

Project : The Coders Last Will and Testament.

  1.  Hire some small ass skanky cheap VM server for 100 years.  (You probably now know where I’m going with this).
    (Prices will be cheap enough soon… if not put the money to pay for it in your will)
  2. Code some server side program to parse the Births, Marriages & Deaths database on a daily basis to scrape for your own name.
  3. if (OMGWTFIMDEAD === ‘#Your own name and other unique shit#’) { dosomecoolstuff() };
  4. Fuck with people after you’re dead and embrace your digital lawnmower man afterlife…
  5. Thank god for the gift of a 10Kb slot in digital heaven.
Ideas for runtime code…
I was thinking things like…
  • parse for new births around the world for anyone with the same name as me… let them know young how cool we are (with SPAM)
  • give my family and even family members I dont know about that weren’t born in my life time.. birthday cards from their creepy dead relative
  • SPAM family descendants asking for a geeky one to re-write your morbid code so that it retains compatibility as tech increases. (Plenty of ghostly and superstitious spam required to scare/coerce that kid into coding for you)
Anyway like i said… im sure this moment will pass and i’ll realise how douchy this is… but a literal legacy from some legacy code… it was at least enough to give me a red toilet seat imprint on my legs :)